Church going experiences were never my forte and neither were they my mom’s.

I use to attend Spring Hill Baptist Church in Granville and I found great relief in leaving. It just wasn’t where I needed to be. My mom denied getting baptized and then years later it struck me…..

She knew that I was different and she wanted me to be safe from mental destruction.

Now that is why I love my mom so much. She is amazing like that. She always was ahead of everyone in thinking. I am not sure as to why she didn’t but that is my thought on the issue. I didn't need the cold walls of the church to save me though. Its just a building and I was the true temple.

I found the church in my heart along with my experiences. I found the moral rights and wrongs in my heart. I found myself in my heart. So I became what I knew I could become. Someone that cared so much you could see my heart right through my clothes, skin and bones.

I started again to pray about three years ago in the shower. I prayed sometimes for hours and got all pruney but it was well worth it. For some reason the cleansing happened more for me and that was the only place I could get away from that mistake I was talking about my greatest one. I prayed for a way out, for the happiness I have lost, for the purity and to not be disappointed in my failure. I now pray in my bed alone at night for all of those that cross my path. There is a lot of need for healing in this world. I might not be the best person or the next Mother Teressa but I do my job as a person.

So you see praying is not the words you use but the intent. Please is a good start. This one goes out to Tboy. Pray with your heart and any words that come out are right. Thanks for inspiring this entry even though you just said a few words on the topic something convinced me to write about it.

Its true gay men can pray regardless of what all of the rest of the world think.