Heres one for you mom. You are the most beautiful of all the people in my life. You have had to deal with all the horror of having a son that is gay and one that was perfect. The one thing that you said to me about being scared of what my life will bring, you were right this life is so hard and scarey and sometimes I wish I had never been born. I just want to put my arms around you and feel that feeling I felt when I was a kid. I want to amaze you I want to dazzle you with the talent that I have lost and gained. I want you to see the real me that person that is so lonely and weak. I want you too let me cry on your shoulder. I want to tell you all that has plagued me in this life. The one person that I have always looked up to is you. The one person that stood by me my whole life maybe not understanding me but you stood there to support me even when I felt to weak to make it. You have been the mother that many people could only dream having. I love you more than this world. You are the only reason I live and will continue to live. I want to make you a proud mother. I want to do the things you dreamed for me and most of all I want to give your dreams. If I make it big in this world the money will go to you and dad. You are the people that will deserve it.

Perfume that filled the air of an empty house on hidden drive. The awakening so pleasant. I remember your voice calling to wake my well rested body. You were always so gentle with I talking my problems to a compromise. Smile always was on your caring face. Never coming across someone that had such vigour as you. You rested by my bedside when I was sick, you took my shoes off when I couldn’t move. You taught me about life, you held me when I was sad. You were there for me anytime I needed you. A role model, someone that I could never live up to but I would love to dream about being. You never lied and you never sugar coated anything. You showed me life would be tough but you just have to finish what you start. You packed my lunch, you were my closest friend. We ate some great takeout, watched some good movies and walked the mall in search of nothing but time together. I miss thoses days of childhood and when I come home you are no longer here. The home I knew has a place in the past and future has pushed me down the hill. I struggle to grasp the footing and make it. I shouldn’t fail because I had the best teacher. You. I wish I could be there on this day to celebrate mothers. You see if I were to talk about anyone that has changed my life it would be you.

Sorry I am crying like a baby now. I can’t wait to see my mom. I have two weeks now and then home my true home in Central Ohio for a weekend. Old times revisited. I think I will go to the river tonight if the thunder storm waits to come until 11pm. Well I wish all of you a better day then mine.