Can you tell I had a bad day. That is right kids, I myself am not perfect and I fall sometimes.

So apparently to customers I am mean, well thanks for telling me that Brittany because they have only seen the beginning. Fuck these people, I break my back day in and day out for them. I pull strings and bend rules and the thanks I get is that they think I am mean. Well maybe they would like me to treat them like they treat me. I will give them attitudes, tell them they can’t use that card at this cash register, or I can’t do a separate order for the over the limit items and no I will not give you any money to cover yo ass.

I can’t understand why it is my duty to be ass fucked everytime someone wants it their way.

I am so ill and sick that I can’t even move and as for my back I am going to go to the doctor as soon as they can book it.

When the lights go done on the Hollywood hills my life will crash into the undefining river of sorrow. I plan to lay along its banks for a week or so and eventually the fester will bring someone to save me from the rapids brushing against my lifeless arm. I think that the beauty of the scene would bring my friends out of their private worlds to see the me that wasn’t a bitch, the me that gave my all to them and then I would be able to rest in peace.

My soul is crying deep inside. Open this diary back up to the world and drown myself into the couscious criticism.

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Went for a walk in the brisk wind and was blown away by the smack of realization.

Thunder in the sky way up high. The clouds were permanent cut outs and the lurking behind the electricity bounched. The sweet smell of the cherry blossoms dancing on the cool breeze. The wet grass dampening my bottoms of my pants and covered my sandle wearing feet. Punked to the hilt dreaming of another time but dreaming of what could possibly be ahead opening my arms walking down the road the wind against my body. I feel free as a bird. Anger is washed away.

That tree looks like a canibus tree. Ok silly. Or who could forget some customer brought in pansies in and they smelled like piss that pubesence piss smell. Don't ask!

This day was a mood swing from hell. And please keep Big Bertha away from me next time. I can't stand her.

"Things I'll Never Say"

I'm tuggin' at my hair

I'm pullin' at my clothes

I'm tryin to keep my cool

I know it shows

I'm staring at my feet

My cheeks are turning red

I'm searching for the words inside my head

I'm feeling nervous

Tryin' to be so perfect

Cause I know you're worth it

You're worth it--yeah

If I could say what I want to say

I'd say I want to blow you--away

Be with you every night

Am I squeezing you too tight

If I could say what I want to see

I want to see you...................

Guess I'm wishing my life away

With these things I'll never say

It don't do me any good it's just a waste of time

What use is it to you what's on my mind

If ain't comin out we're not going anywhere

So why can't I just tell you that I care

Cause I'm feeling nervous

Tryin' to be so perfect

Cause I know your worth it

If I could say what I want to say

I'd say I want to blow you--away

Be with you every night

Am I squeezing you too tight

If I could say what I want to see

I want to see you..................

Guess I'm wishing my life away

With these things I'll never say

What's wrong with my tongue

These words keep slipping away

I stutter I stumble like I've got nothing to say

Cause I'm feeling nervous

Trying to be so perfect

Cause I know you're worth it

You're worth it--yeah

I guess i'm wishing my life away

With these things I'll never say

If I could say what I want to say

I'd say I want to blow you--away

Be with you every night

Am I squeezing you too tight

If I could say what I want to see

I want to see you....................

Guess I'm wishing my life away

With these things I'll never say

These things I'll never say

~Here and Now for You~

Sweet dreams to you and have a great day tomorrow. Nitey nite!